Guy Genes are VERY different from Gal Genes. Guy Genes are responsible for making a guy eat bean curd (a.k.a. tofu) just to impress his hot date who is sitting across from him in a romantic dimly light cozy restaurant, when suddenly, out of nowhere she picks up a piece of tofu, and to his [...]
It amazes me how two creatures from the SAME species can be so DIFFERENT. For example, all men have the genetic requirement to click the TV clicker using a speed which can only be captured by slow-motion photograph. And in sharp contrast, women own breasts. Breasts are a topic of GREAT interest to men which [...]
Italians are a nutty bunch, and I aught to know, because I’m a Catholic cog in this dago demographic. And the leaders of this guinea group are the matriarch grandmothers. These people are VERY busy with food, and when they find out that 10 people are coming over for Christmas dinner, Italian grandmothers will cook [...]
Whenever I start a project (e.g., cutting the grass) I do NOT bother my wife. HOWEVER, whenever my wife starts a project (e.g., everything) I always feel like I am at a rodeo, because she lassos me, drags me into the mission, and I end up the donkey doing most of the duty.
Take for instance [...]
Do you want to know a surefire way to put an end to divorce? Okay, then, I will tell you: before a woman and a man get married, it should be congressionally mandated that they must first fill out a detailed checklist, which is designed to determine if they are compatible to begin with. If [...]
An interesting fact about toilets: toilets just don’t explode all by themselves. Toilets need lots of help to blow up. Toilets are funny that way. And the firing pin for toilet detonation usually comes in the form of a clog.
An interesting fact about clogs: clogs just don’t occur all by themselves. Clogs need lots of [...]
Summer would not be summer unless I managed to accidently light my house on fire with the help from my grill. There’s just something about the smell of melting vinyl siding which makes me want to stop, drop, roll, and speed-dial the pizza delivery guy. And 2008 would not be any different. Well, it was [...]
We’ve all had those nights when we can’t sleep, so we turn on the television at 1:46 AM only to come face-to-face with those infomercial scam artist trying to sell you and me everything from miracle mops that can do EVERYTHING from mopping up messes to preparing your taxes; wall hooks that are Hercules strong [...]
I’m not crazy about people who are always busy telling other people what to do and what not to do. My mother is always telling me “I am too skinny, and I need to eat something.” And even though every time I go to my parent’s house and I eat enough spaghetti and [...]
WARNING: Women are born to have babies. Men are born to remain babies. The problem is that females of the species comes factory equipped with the hormone “estrogen,” which has the same basic molecular structure as battery acid, only slightly more corrosive. Around the age of 26 to 27, estrogen kicks in, and activates the [...]
