Tongue-In-Cheek … Foot-In-Mouth

I’ve decided that instead of posting this week’s humor column, rather, I’m dedicating this week’s column to Linda, Jeannine, Lorrinda, Annette, Drew, and Joe.  These four wonderful ladies and two great guys all recently emailed me regarding my “Bill Drury For President 17-point Platform.”  Judging from thier emails, it’s clear to me that they are good, honest, hard-working, and above all, true Americans.  And I’m proud to have them as part of my loyal readers.  Thanks Linda.  Thanks Jeannine.  Thanks Lorrinda.  Thanks Annette.  Thanks Drew.  Thanks Joe.

Linda wrote: “I loved your Bill Drury for President column.  The 17 campaign points are obviously exaggerated for comedic value, but the basis of each is right on the mark! Too bad at least one of the candidates don’t have at least one good point to make or platform that the American public can embrace.  And Obama needs to have more respect for America and the American flag.  Unfortunately he will probably be elected and if he doesn’t respect his flag or his country, why should anyone else….what a terrible message he is sending.”

Jeannine wrote: “Absolutely loved your article “Bill Drury for President”.  You have my vote!  We need to take our country back!”

Lorrinda wrote: “Bill, I have only one thing to say about your 17 points-AMEN!”

Annette wrote:  You are a true AMERICAN and easily express your AMERICAN views.  I’ve lived the same values as an AMERICAN as you have expressed and they should be broadcasted all over the United States.  Do AMERICANS have cotton in their ears and blinders over their eyes.  I cast my vote for you, Bill as President of these United States!

Drew wrote: Bill! You did it! A realistic platform we can all agree on. The ” No Welfares$, get a job like the rest of us you bum!” really got me laughing. I wish we as a country could cut the BS and just leave each other alone, stop funding the world and hang some of the traitors down in DC.  Well you have my vote, as a Marine vet of Iraq and a Republitarian and Citizen of the United States of America, you have my prayers.

Joe wrote: ”I saw your column in the Carriage Towne and loved it! I read it aloud to my wife last night and we both thought it was the greatest. I scanned it at work today and sent it off to our families who live in New York City and Seattle - 2 very unfriendly cities for conservative families like ours. My family emigrated, legally, from Italy and immediately learned English. My wife\’s came from Norway and immediately learned English. After living in the people\’s republic of Massachusetts for a few years we had to get out of there and go somewhere where people spoke English and were courteous.  We bought a house in Fremont in 2006 and couldn\’t believe how great it is.  It\’s not just us who proudly fly our American flag every day, we\’re not scoffed at when we shoot our bows and guns and hunt etc…etc…people in our area are genuinely nice, respectful Americans. Our families are amazed at how great it is when they visit.”

Again, thanks Linda, Jeannine, Lorrinda, Annette, Drew, and Joe for not only choosing to live in America, but for choosing to become Americans.